Death on the Net: Part One

In recent months I have been advised of the deaths of three online friends. The loss felt is as significant as with any other friend with whom conversations and activities have been shared. For many, these online friendships may have been developed over many years.

In some cases there may be more interaction with some online friends than with those living nearby. This is not unusual considering the emotional connection maintained between intimate partners where one works overseas or on a mine site or oil rig for weeks at a time, or a work colleague with whom one works largely through telephone/email, or the the family member living overseas where the main form of contact is telephone or email. Human connection and emotion do not stop at a geographic boundary.

In the 'old days' it was not unusual to form strong relationships with 'Pen Pals' - in fact, such relationships were fostered by 'pen pal' pages in newspapers and magazines. For immigrant families this was an acceptable way of encouraging romantic relationships between immigrants and someone from the 'Old Country'. It seems humans have long recognised that relationships can be developed and maintained without a face to face contact.

As the ability to share and exchange information is no longer reliant on 'snail mail' or costly overseas telephone calls. Our interactions are now more immediate and can become quite intensly rewarding. The introduction of computer cams and voice ability allows expressive contact through two major senses simultaneously, sight AND sound.

As we accommodate to this new paradigm of interaction we acknowledge that anything that allows people to connect needs to also incorporate ways of dealing with loss.

The loss of someone geographically remote from us and to whom we feel connected is made more difficult by the lack of formal rite to mark their passing and to express grief or sadness. Rites or ceremonies to mark a death are important to human beings across every culture.

The online community, particularly those in the social/educationally based 'virtual worlds' such as Second Life have adapted to the human need to pay respects to the deceased and to express grief by holding memorial services in these virtual worlds, in the same way one would do in the 'real' world. These memorial services often cross over into both worlds.

Recently my friend Kat Klata passed on. It was not unexpected. Kat had been seriously ill for some time but this seemed to motivate her to continue her work with the Multiple Sclerosis group in SL and also with her local Chapter close to her home. When Kat was admitted to the Hospice she received telephone calls and visits from people she had met online.

Kat did not exaggerate her illness, on the contrary, she downplayed it but her work in Second Life gained national recognition in the USA:
http://www.nationalmssociety.org/online-community/personal-stories/kathie-olsonkat-klata/index.aspx

The memorial for Kat in SL took place after her funeral. The SL memorial was filmed and posted online to share this aspect of Kat's life with her friends, family and colleagues. In this way she was remembered among both groups of friends: http://vimeo.com/19087135



The significance of loss has been recognised in SL by the establishment of a Memorial Park. A place to plant a flower, light a candle and remember those who have died in 'real' life.

http://secondlife.com/destination/linden-memorial-park









Death
Definition
Death is defined as the cessation of all vital functions of the body including the heartbeat, brain activity (including the brain stem), and breathing.